Thursday, August 20, 2009

Congressman legalizes pot for himself

WASHINGTON, DC — Congressman Sal Dennison (D-OH) successfully inserted an amendment into a House bill, which would legalize marijuana for his own personal use.

“I thought I’d give it a shot,” said Dennison, referring to how he snuck the one-sentence amendment into a bill on highway funding. “It was more of an experiment, to see if anyone would notice.”

Apparently, no one did.

HR 4885, “The Highway Improvement and Pot Legalization for Representative Dennison Act” passed both houses of Congress and was signed into law by President Obama on Monday. Rep. Dennison is now the only American citizen legally allowed to use marijuana for any purpose, recreational or medicinal.

Dennison has turned his office on Capitol Hill into a sort of nursery for marijuana plants. Cannabis leaves sprout from every drawer and cabinet. A jar on his desk contains dozens of hand-rolled marijuana cigarettes. He freely admits his addiction to pot smoking and recently told his constituents that he really doesn’t want to do anything else. They responded by donating hundreds of thousands of dollars to his reelection campaign.

“They kinda dig their pot-smokin’ congressman,” said Dennison. “They think it’s cool.”

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2 comments:

  1. There are many persuasive arguments on why America should legalize marijuana, and the reasons are sound, but the fact that many millions of Americans have used pot has not translated into real political pressure on the people who can change the laws. One of the problems inhibiting legalization is that people that smoke a glass pipe are not considered serious or mature. It is This stigma that scares many pot users to hide that they smoke pot. Therefore the Reality of who smokes pot and how much the smoke is very different than it seems. The last three presidents were admitted pot users and by my Understanding the same is probably true of the first three presidents as well. Marijuana Legislation is very serious and has everything with how we define what it means to be American. What credence do we as Americans give the rights of the individual to the pursuit of happiness as well as a right to privacy? In the end it is up to us to be public about our choices and to Voice our opinions to the ones that ultimately decide what the rules are. Every hand written Letter that makes it to a representative is considered to be the voice of a thousand people who did not take the time to write. Send an email, send a letter make a phone call and get counted.
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